: How did you happen to fall in?
: I didn't fall in. I jumped in to saved George.
: You what? You... to save me?
: Well, I did, didn't I? You didn't go through with it, did you?
: Go through with what?
: Suicide.
: Oh, it's against the law to commit suicide around here.
: Yes, it's against the law where I come from, too.
: Where do you come from?
: Heaven. I had to act quickly. That's why I jumped in. I knew if I were drowning you'd try to save me. And you see, you did, and that's how I saved you.
: Ah. Very funny.
: Your lip's bleeding George.
: Yeah, I got a bust in the jaw in answer to your prayer a little bit ago.
: Oh, no, no, no, George, I'm the answer to your prayer. That's why I was sent down here.
: How do you know my name?
: Oh, I know all about you. I've watched you grow up from a little boy.
: What are you, a mind reader or something?
: Oh, oh.
: Well, who are you then?
: Clarence Odbody, A-S-2.
: Odbody... A-S-2. Wh-Wh-What's that A-S-2?
: Angel Second Class. Cheerio, my good man.
: Oh, brother... Gee whiz... I wonder what Martini put in those drinks? Hey, what's... what's... with you... wh... wh... what did you say just a minute ago? Why'd you want to save me?
: That's what I was sent down for. I'm your guardian angel.
: I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
: Ridiculous of you to think of killing yourself for money. Eight thousand dollars.
: Yeah, I'll say. Just things like that. Now how do you know that?
: I told you. I'm your guardian angel. I know everything about you.
: Well, you look about like the kind of an angel I'd get. Sort of a fallen angel, aren't you? What happened to your wings?
: I haven't won my wings yet. That's why I'm an angel second class.
: I don't know whether I like it very much being seen around with an angel without any wings.
: Oh, I, I've got to earn them and you'll help me, won't you?
: Sure, sure. How?
: By letting me help you.
: Only one way you can help me. Y... You don't happen to have eight thousand bucks on you?
: Oh, no, no. We don't use money in heaven.
: Oh, yeah, that's right, I keep forgetting. Comes in pretty handy down here, bub.
: Oh, tut, tut, tut.
: I found it out a little late. I'm worth more dead than alive.
: Now look, you mustn't talk like that. I won't get my wings with that attitude. You just don't know all that you've done. If it hadn't been for you...
: Yeah, if it hadn't been for me, everybody'd be a lot better off. My wife, and my kids, and my friends. And my... Look, little fellow, why, go off and haunt somebody else, will you?
: No, now, you don't understand. I've got my job.
: Aw, shut up, will you?
: Hmmm, this isn't gonna be so easy. Yeah! So you still think killing yourself would make everybody feel happier, eh?
: Oh, I didn't know. I guess you're right. I suppose it would have been better if I'd never been born at all.
: What'd you say?
: I said I wish I'd never been born.
: Oh, you mustn't say thing like that. You... Wait a minute. Wait a minute. That's an idea. What do you think? Yeah, that'll do it. All right. You've got your wish. You've never been born.
UNIT 5
: Please, God, let me live again.
: Hey, George. George! You all right? Hey, what's the matter?
: Now get out of here, Bert or I'll hit you again! Get out of here!
: What the Sam Hill, you yelling for, George?
: You... George? Bert, do you know me?
: Know you? Huh, you kidding? I've been looking all over town, trying to find you. I saw your car piled into that tree down there, and I thought maybe you... Hey, your mouth's bleeding. Are you sure you're all right?
: What did you... My mouth's bleeding, Bert! My mouth's bleed... Zuzu's petals, Zuzu's... There they are! Bert! What do you know about that? Merry Christmas!
: Well, Merry Christmas!
: Mary! Mary! Yaa!
: Mary! Mary! Mary! Well, hello, Mr. Bank Examiner. How are you?
: Mr. Bailey, there's a deficit.
: I know. Eight thousand dollars.
: George, I've got a little paper here.
: I'll bet it's a warrant for my arrest. Isn't it wonderful? I'm going to jail. Marry Christmas! Reporters? Wh... Where's Mary? Mary! Oh, look at this wonderful old drafty house. Mary! Mary! Mary! Have you... Have you seen my wife?
: Merry Christmas, Daddy! Merry Christmas, Daddy!
: Kids! Pete! Oh! Kids! Janie! Tommy! Oh, let me look at you. Oh, I could eat you up. Where is your mother?
: She went looking for you.
: With Uncle Billy.
: Daddy!
: Zuzu! Zuzu! My little gingersnap! How do you feel?
: Fine!
: Not a smitch of temperature.
: Not a smitch of temperature... Ha, ha. Hallelujah!
: Hello.
: George! George!
: Mary! Mary!
: George, darling! Where have you been? George, darling! Where have you been? Oh, George, George, George.
: Mary! Let me touch you. Let me touch you. Oh, you're real!
: Oh, George... George.
: You have no idea what happened to me.
: You have no idea what happened. Well, well, come on, George, come on downstairs, quick. They're on their way.
: All right.
: Come on! Come on in here now. Now, you stand right over here, by the tree. Right there, and don't move, don't move.
: What's happening? Who's gonna come?
: I hear 'em coming now. George, it's a miracle! It's a miracle!
: Who's coming?
: Who's coming?
: Who's gonna come, Daddy?
: Who, Daddy?
: I don't know.
: Come in, Uncle Billy. Everybody! In here!
: George! George! It's a miracle. I've never seen anything like it.
: Isn't it wonderful? So many friends! Mary did it, George! Mary did it! She told some people you were in trouble and then, they scattered all over town collecting money. They didn't ask any questions... just said: "If George is in trouble, count me in..."
: What is this, George? Another run on the bank?
: Here you are, George, Merry Christmas.
: Don't push. The line forms on the right. Oh, Mr. Martini! Merry Christmas! Step right up here.
: I busted the jukebox, too!
: Mr. Gower!
: I made the rounds of my charge accounts.
: Violet Bick!
: I'm not going to go, George. I changed my mind.
: I've been saving this money for a divorce, if ever I get a husband. Merry Christmas.
: There you are, George. I got the faculty all up out of bed. And here's something for you to play with.
: I wouldn't have a roof over my head if it wasn't for you, George.
: Just a minute. Just a minute. Quite, everybody. Quiet, quiet. Now get this. It's from London.
: Oh.
: Mr. Gower cabled you need cash. Stop. My office instructed to advance you up to twenty-five thousand dollars. Stop. Hee-haw and Merry Christmas. Sam Wainwright.
: Good idea, Ernie. A toast... to my big brother George. The richest man in town!
: Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And days of auld lang syne?
: Dear George:
Remember no man is a failure who has friends.
Thanks for the wings!
Love, Clarence.
: Who's that?
: That's a Christmas present from a very dear friend of mine.
: For auld lang syne, my dear. For auld lang syne.
: Look, daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.
: That's right. That's right. Attaboy, Clarence.
